Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

This year I've been pretty good.  Unless of course you ask my kids. They'll tell you I've sworn a few times, listened to music a little too loud--even though I warn them not to, and that while they were away at school I snuck in and ate most of the chocolate fun-size bars from their Halloween candy bags.  But in my defense I think the swearing was probably caused by a rogue child, the music was loud in an effort to drown out and counteract theirs, and despite stealing chocolate from my children I think it made me a calmer mother.

So if these things can be overlooked AND if you can take in account the good things I've done this year like:

• Showing remarkable restraint by NOT posting sordid comments on others Facebook pages
• Used way more recyclable grocery bags (impressive eh?)
• Forcing my family to eat more leftovers so we are not so wasteful (plus it saved me time in the kitchen!) AND...
• Not killing my children after they ruined my car

Then here is my 

Christmas Wish List:

First, I would like Connor's feet to grow.  It's a simple request really and it would make my life so much easier.  Right now we have the same size feet and that is a big problem.  He steals my flip flops and takes them off all over the house AND yard and I can't seem to ever find them.  Not only that, he wears my motorcycle boots and it drives me crazy.  

I own two pair.  He starts off wearing one set and somehow they get all filled up with sand.  Once the toe end is chuck full of sand and they seem to "no longer fit" he just switches to wearing my other pair.  I'm tired of shoe sharing...and with my son no less.  If his feet grew a bit my troubles would be over.

Next, I'm really hoping you can pull some North Pole strings and see if you could please tell my local store to bring back Shower Power.  

Honestly, what happened to my favorite cleaner?  My shower has lost its sparkle and I'm going mad.  I've tried other things but nothing works.  Tried KaBoom...it KaFizzled.  Tilex, nothing.  I can't stand a scummy shower.  Please force these cleaning cartels to bring this back to a store near me.  Everyone deserves to enjoy a Christmas free from the tyranny of soap scum.



Also, I would really like My neck back. Last year it was my eyesight, this year it's my neck.  I'm afraid I'm gonna be spending most of my wishes in the years to come on body parts that are aging, which does not bode well at all.  But this year, while taking some self photos during a long road trip I was horrified to see my poor neck.  What happened to it?  And why didn't people warn me about this sort of madness?

Here's the first photo that set off my aging alarm!  Look at my neck!

Never mind that my sister and I may look haggard and like a couple of bugs in our sunglasses...This was taken on a road trip halfway across the country.  So give us a pass of the overall beauty we're sadly lacking in the photo.  But me? And my neck?  What the heck it that about??

Seriously alarming.  So I started taking the rest of my pictures like this...

This is not a good way to live, all neck nervous.  Please Santa, I would like my young neck back.



I would also really like to See the Space Shuttle launch.  Apparently someone got the bright idea to end the shuttle program before I got to see a real live launch.  This is a serious problem since I put this on my bucket list.  And as you can imagine, that's gonna make it awfully hard to check off if they aren't launching them anymore.

Now, just so you know, I've made a formidable attempt to get this done without asking you for any help.  Go ahead, just ask any of your "we-know-when-you're-awake" Elves and they'll tell you I got pretty darn close to checking this off my list.  T minus 10 close to be exact.  But the weather was really bad in Turkey AND Spain so they scuttled the launch in FLORIDA.  All I got out of the deal was a really long bus ride back to the Cape Canaveral parking lot and this lovely patch.  What the heck do I sew that on to??
  
Seriously, lets imagine for a moment that I went all "scoutmaster" and sewed the thing on to my jacket or something.  What exactly would I say to someone who asked me what my space shuttle patch was for? A scuttled launch?  Not the stuff dreams and bucket lists are made of.  So if there's any way you could speak with the people at NASA, would you ask them to try and get these last couple of launches to go off right on schedule just for me? I've got a bucket list that needs a checkmark.

I would also like to pre-order some better weather for spring baseball.  I froze last year.  And when you're forced to keep the stats and your bad at it,  and your fingers are totally frozen, well, it doesn't make for good record keeping.  Just ask the last couple of umpires that needed me to give them a very accurate game update.  A little more spring sunshine would help my attitude and my accuracy.

And one last request...
If you've got some extra time I'd love it if you'd send your elves to come and clean out the barn.  Really, it needs it.  I'll even leave you homemade cookies instead of the store bought kind if you can pull this off.


Thanks Santa!