11 Lessons Learned in 2011

1.  Perhaps a green zone should be established when Nerf Wars break out inside the house. 

2.  Buying a label maker is asking for trouble. 
Once all the people who live in a house with a label maker get their hands on this revolutionary thingamajig...an insatiable label-affixing crime spree will ensue and it just can’t be stopped.

Over the holidays I was doing some cooking and happened catch a little white something under my stove's hood...

 

Upon closer inspection this is what it said:

(definitely the nefarious workings of a teenager.)

Then while mopping the floors I flipped the chairs onto the counter top and discovered this little beauty:

 

The whole label maker idea sounded like a great idea at first...

 


3.  Turning into a grandparent isn’t so bad.  
 Especially if your grandchild is one of the cuter 2011 models that comes with hair long enough to comb into a plethora of weird hairdos.  I’ve never been more amused by a slobbery little thing in all my life.

 That said, it’s the idea of being married to a grandpa that’s the hard part—especially if said grandpa thinks it’s okay to start referring to his wife as "Grandma".  Definitely not okay.

4.  Men suffer from cramps too.  
 Just ask Mark.  Twenty miles into his first marathon his legs cramped up and he had to limp into an aid station.  Once he got there he said that his cramps hurt so bad that he “didn’t even mind that two dudes were rubbing his legs down with Icy Hot.”  I should have sent him to his race with a couple of Midol--that would have done the trick, as I know a thing or two about cramps.
(TMI yes, I know.)


But, just to cover my bases after my grandpa remark in lesson #3,
for an old guy "Ojii" (that's grandpa in Japanese) runs pretty darn fast.

  
5.  Everyone should have an extra hand. 

Seriously two are not enough.  But the third hand has to be  
a fake foam one that looks real enough to creep people out.  You’ll be amused for months on end freaking people out with it.  I’m not sure how I ever lived without one.  Life is so much more enjoyable now.


6.  You can use a piece of seaweed as 
a tow rope.   
Yeah, that one surprised me too.  But when Deanne's quad wouldn't start and we all forgot to bring a tow rope, you gotta get creative.  In our case the creative one was "McGuyver Mont" who seems to always come up with ridiculously insane ways to turn problems into genius solutions.

I must admit I was laughing at him when I saw him grab a long seaweed kelp-ish thingy and drag it over to the quad!  But Mont, of course, had the last laugh.  It totally worked!  Way to go Mont!  Lesson Learned!

You can barely see the slimy tow rope but it' there, and it got us out of our little sandy pickle!

7.  Connor may have been Spider Man in another life.  
Over the past year I keep catching him hanging out on rooftops. 
Is that a sign of some serious malady that I should have him checked out?  You just can't keep the kid off the roof...of anything.

Here he is in the red shirt enjoying a sunny day at the dunes. 

  How do you get your chair up there??

Over the summer I repeatedly heard loud banging on my rooftop and discovered it was Connor playing catch with his trusty football  
on top of the house.  

 I’m not sure why but the kid seems to like the roof.  Go figure.


8.  Your sink can sink.  

I came downstairs one morning to find mine had settled into the abyss of the cupboard below.  Who knew that could happen??  Certainly not me.  It went down like the Titanic--full of china and silverware and less than a third of its contents made it through safely.  Unfortunately both were thought to be unsinkable.


9.  Never pave an extra-wide walkway to your front door. 
Your teenage driver will use it as a road.

 I think every kid has a full time job, which is, to scale all chores down to the least amount of exertion for every required task.  They are masters at this.  In Mitchell’s case the twenty extra steps from the driveway all the way up the front walkway was way way too far to carry some stuff into the house—so he just popped his car in reverse and backed it right up to the front door.  Yep, this year I learned that a WALKway is not just for pedestrians. 


10.  If it has an engine in it,  
the Skillmans will race it. 

11.  People should never move away.
You just miss them too darn much.

And yes after all these years we still even miss these people...

The things you learn. 

Suggested Reading

I forced poor Nick into going on a little jaunt over to Barnes and Noble with me.  He's not really a reader, which is to say he can read but prefers not to...that is unless you give him a picture book with football or wresting photos in it.

As you can imagine, he wasn't really excited about my invitation for a little adventure at the bookstore, but Nick being the lovable guy he is, he came anyway.  As if that wasn't enough strain on his good nature, I proceeded to heckle him the entire drive about his ill disposition towards the written word--which I think may have irritated him a wee bit, as you will see shortly... 

Once we got to the store I challenged him to go and find some books he could recommend I read:

The little smarty pants came back with this book for me:

And this one for Mark:

Lesson learned: Never heckle a non-reader and then sent them free in a bookstore.  They will find a way to get back at you for insulting their intelligence with a little impish war of wits.

Well done Nick, well done.

10 Lessons Learned in 2010

1.  Hefty cinch-sacks make a mighty fine substitute for a gas cap.

I learned this one on my long road trip across the country this past fall.  However, it would have been even more helpful if I’d been able to figure out a substitute for a missing credit card.

2.  The handy nature of the word “CUSS”

This very handy new word came by way of the comment section of my blog (Thanks Daisha!)  It’s a little gem of a word. 

After blogging yet again about my pernicious penchant for swearing, she suggested that if I was really trying to curb my cursings that I simply replace these boisterious belchings with the word “cuss”.  I’ve tried substitute swear words before but the “darn” and “heck”s would just not satisfy my need to release all that tension out of my mouth. But after giving this handy little “cuss” word a try, I’ve found that it works, really well. The hard “Kuh” sound seems to roll harshly enough off my tongue that it’s just about cured me of the real thing.  Just about.

3.  Never rub your eyes when you’re eating HOT Cheetos.

4.  We are not the Partridge Family

During a recent trip up to Seattle to visit Mark’s mom “G-Ma”, she bought us passes for a place called “Experience Music Project”.  It lets visitors, well, experience music.  And experience it we did, but I’m fairly certain it was not in a way I think the good folks behind the “project” intended.  

The EMP is a place filled with famous instruments played by legendary musicians (most notably, Seattle native Jimi Hendrix), displays of music memorabilia, and interactive music lessons.  Sadly, there’s also sound booths where you can do everything from mix music or try your hand at jamming on drums, guitars, or sing...or form an impromptu band and make a music video.

I didn't even think to take pictures of my kids while we were there.  I was too busy holding my hands over my ears insulating them from the bedlam.  I never worked up the nerve to unplug even one ear long enough to operate a camera.  I just followed my poor talent-impaired kids around...

• Chloe headed strait for the vocals and sung her little off-tune heart out.  
• Mitchell headed to the guitars and surprised us by not being too offensive and informed us he took a guitar class at school (hmmm.  Apparently we weren’t paying too much attention to his school schedule that year).  
• Connor headed strait for the drums-my all-time favorite instrument EXCEPT for when it is done badly. My dad used to play drums in a band, which garnered him a mob of crazed groupies, while Connor groupies consisted of a hand full of reluctant family members all huddling in the corner of the sound booth like we were practicing a grade school earthquake drill.  

It was a frightening day in which I learned once-and-for-all that we Skillmans, will NEVER be the Partridge family.  I don’t think there was ever a day in which I took more aspirin. 

However sad our lackluster musical abilities are, cheer up, I learned something positive too...

5.  You're never too old to find a new talent.

At 49 Mark has discovered something new...running. He’s always been into cycling but a few years back he decided to try running in the winter months because it was just too cold to ride.  Mark’s not really a big distance cycler, instead he prefers to climb up steep roads on his bike.  The downside of that is that when you reach the summit in the wintertime the coast back down is a very breezy and chilly one. So he switched to running and it turns out he’s pretty good at it.  

When summer came he neglected his bike and kept right on jogging and started entering races.  He placed second in his first triathlon.  Over the past year he crosses the finish line with impressive times and now has quite a plethora of awards. Who knew?  He'd never run before.  

Finding a new talent at 49 gives the rest of us waaay younger people hope.  I think Mark likes being the old guy that can outrun kids half his age and I wonder if perhaps his quick-ness is more about feeble feisty-ness.  Whatever it is, I’m pretty impressed...

...not impressed to run with him, but impressed nonetheless.

6.  If you inappropriately mis-label moving boxes when you help your friends move, they may not ask you to help them ever again.

My poor friends may have had a bit of trouble making friends when they relocated to their new home, especially if their new neighbors offered to come and help them unpack the new house. 

Unfortunately for my poor friends The Petersens, they had a move AND a wedding that took place just one day apart.  So while they focused on the wedding, I came out and helped them pack. 

What I did not tell them when I offered to help is that when I get ahold of a moving box and a permanent marker-well, some sort of demon seizes me.  These two things together, boxes and permanent markers, create an uncontrollable temptation.  

When I began packing, it with all the good intentions I could muster.  I even occasionally wrote encouraging notes and little friendly memos and left them inside the taped up boxes.  Then as my memory would fade I began intermittently forgetting what I had just taped up inside the box and couldn’t recall exactly what I was supposed to write on the outside. So I’d start writing “I forgot what’s inside”.  It gave me a case of the giggles.  Not the funny “ha-ha” kind of giggles.  I got the devious kind from whence all trouble-making comes.  From there I moved on to labeling their stereo system as 
“8-Track Tape Player and John Denver collection” and then another box as
“embarrassing items from your medicine cabinet”. 

But this box got me in the biggest trouble, but I couldn’t help myself.

…And now they will never ask me to help them again. 

So sad, because my head is abuzz with a lot more scandalous ideas and I've got a fresh marker ready to go.

7.  If your husband is not a big TV watcher, you may not want him to be in charge of your car rental needs. 

I found this out the hard way.  I had flown down to the Vegas area to help mis-label and move boxes for my aforementioned friends.  When I flew in they picked me up at the airport and the plan was for Mark to fly down a week later and rent a car to drive for the rest of our stay. 

Seven days later, Mark shows up in one of these:

My mouth hung open when he pulled up.  Apparently he doesn’t see very many commercials on TV or he’d of seen this one:

Dear Mark: Surrender the man card buddy, you shouldn’t have needed a commercial to figure out that you don't wanna "get with this".


For the remainder of our visit, I rode around in the passenger seat with dark sunglasses and a hat.  I am now searching high and low for a green track suit for Mark, he's certainly "do da dippity" earned it.

8.  Don’t take Ambien if your long distance flight requires you to change planes midway. 

Especially if the change is made someplace like say, El Salvador, and you may just need to be sharp enough to recall some basic high school Spanish to navigate successfully to the next plane.  However, if you insist on popping one anyway (or possibly two), bring along a really good friend and assign them to be your designated driver flyer.  If they're a really good and loyal friend, they’ll help you transfer to the right airplane and you’ll wake up on a beach somewhere and have absolutely no recollection on how you got there.  But you’ll be happy and well rested.

9.  If you put your cat on a diet, it will get very grouchy.


10.  The most exciting yet debilitating news of your life is the day you find out you're going be a grandparent.
This sort of news is one of the hallmarks of life.  An exciting time.  But no one prepares you for the inevitable realization that happens about five minutes after you get such a phone call.  After the initial rush of jubilee, one very horrific realization overshadows:  

You're officially OLD.

Now, if you happen to already be OLD when you get this sort of news for the first time, it may not come as such a blow but when you just recently stepped into your forties, the moment you hear such news your vision suddenly blurs (or in my case blurs worse), you get short of breath, and a half dozen gray hairs suddenly spring out of your head in utter fright.  


Things that freak me out about being a grandparent:

• Being married to a grampa. Ewww!
• What the cuss are these grandchildren going to call me??  Grannie? Grandma? Oh Heaven help me come up with a more youthful sounding grandparent name.
• Accidentally slipping into grandmotherhood with one of those tell-tale hairdos and suddenly preferring comfy shoes.

Things that will be fabulous about being a grandparent:

• Making my own children jealous by spoiling the baby rotten.
• Buying baby clothes that I'll never have to wash and put away.
• Enjoying a baby without any of the poop.
• Knowing the pain and suffering this must be causing my own parents who have to add a dreaded GREAT in front of their names.  Hehehe.
• Boring friends and strangers with baby pictures!

And while we're on the subject of pictures...here's the first of many...

12 Lessons Learned in 2009

1. An ipod is waaaay better than a "spongepod".
This was a year of techno tragedy for me.  My beloved ipod which I affectionately called "The Brick"...it died. It actually got a frowny face on its screen when I attempted to revive it.   The thing's been my companion for over decade, which is why it's called "the brick", it was an original.  You know,  the ones that felt like they weighed ten pounds,  almost half an inch thick.  Yes that ipod, and I totally got made fun of for still using such a dinosaur.  But I loved the thing. It was 60 gigs full of pure joy, no video, no cover art, just pure music. And with its massive weight, it added some strength training when I jogged with it.

Because  I am a lover of music, this tradgedy soon had me suffering with drawls from living a life unplugged.  My music/audiobook/language lesson cravings became more than I could take.  After the first day of silence I began to get the shakes and knew something drastic needed to be done.  In a feverish attempt to get a fix, I rummaged through Connor's closet and found a temporary solution...I call it "The Spongepod".  It helped with my horrible music withdrawals and eased some of my symptoms temporarily.  But what I learned was that the sound quality of my ipod serenading me from my Bose docking station, well it's A LOT better than a spongepod.   But it's all I've got for now.

2. If you like it, it will be discontinued.
If I could choose one word to sum up 2009 it would be "discontinued".  So many favorite things that I just can't get anymore.  It almost keeps me awake at night.  Here's some of the things I miss the most:

• Italian hot chocolate at Starbucks
• Ginger Body Soufle from The Body Shop
• One of my favorite restaurants, Pasta Piatti, changed their menu.  Now where do I find the best bruchetta and bistecca??  This is why I went there.
• My favorite household cleaners: Lysol's Rain Clean, Shower Power (should have been called Stainless Sink Power if you ask me), Comet with the handy flip cap, and that great smelling Lysol disinfectant that came in the white and purple sprayer.
• Nitro Circus.  What will Connor and I watch on TV together now?
• Zicam.  Who cares if it ruins your sense of smell! It was good stuff!  Besides, most would agree that the life of a parent would be much better off without our sense of smell.  It's a stinky business raising kids.
  
• "The Brick", goodbye dear friend, you will be missed.  They just don't make them like you anymore.
• My Thirties. Discontinued.
  

 3.  I'll never be a sniper, I have bad aim.
The full story on this one is found here on my other blog...Diabetes Diaries but suffice it to say that I'm still getting used to changing Chloe's insulin pump and I'm still not very good at it.  The poor girl.  Here's the shorter less humorous version of my lesson learned.

Chloe called me from school a few weeks ago because her insulin pump ran out of insulin.  I went down to fill it back up, but when you do, you also have to change the needle out that goes into her body.  To change it you use this lovely mechanism I lovingly call "The Torpedo" because it looks like a rocket launcher with a very long very scary looking needle at the end of it .  You load the thing, cock the darn thing back, aim, and press a trigger (I stop short of yelling, "Fire in the Hole!" because it tends to scare everyone).  I got everything ready then I numbed the place on her belly where I was trying to put it (meaning STAB HER WITH IT).  Sure enough, I pressed the trigger and totally overshot my target!  Poor Chloe turns red and holds her breath to keep from screaming.  She didn't let out a peep but she sure furrowed her brows at me to give me a warning look that I had totally screwed up.  When the threat of a painful scream had abated, she took a deep breath and said, "Mom, you really need to get better at that."  Lesson learned, I'll just never be a sniper, I've got bad aim.  I'm now looking for victims volunteers who will let me do a little target practice on them, it's for a good cause...any takers?

4. We're lucky to have a techno-geek living in the house.
Need your home computers all networked together? No problem.  Want a central printer to wirelessly take orders from any computer anywhere in the house? No problem.  This is all due to Mitchell our techno-geek.  He is handy to have around.  When he leaves for college we're worried we'll have to pay someone to help us change our TV's input from satellite to DVD cause he's the only one who knows how to do it.  The kid rebuilt my laptop after it flat lined (I might mention this happened just three days after my ipod died) and he also loads all our videos so they're blog-ready.  Mitchell also has our 26 digit number/letter password for our internet memorized so we never have to look it up; he can recite it in his geeky sleep.  We're lucky to have this kid around, but don't tell him that, he'll start charging us hourly fees.


5.  Pardon the expression but...If you blog something bad about your cat, you'll piss it off.  Literally.
Just hours after I posted my cat hating blog entry Political Coup, the dang thing found my down coat in our mudroom and sprayed it.  It's never ever done anything like this before.  This is war.


6. We can actually answer the age old question of how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
The answer is: A LOT more than the boys bargained for.  Our house has a really amazing wood stove we built into a fireplace.  It's recessed into the rock so it doesn't even look anything like the old wood stoves used to.  We keep it burning all winter long and our house gets so warm we wear shorts in the winter and usually have windows and doors open.  Most folks come over fully bundled for the winter and quickly shed most of their clothes.

Poor Connor and Mitchell have learned that wood heat warms twice.  Once when you cut and stack it, and then again when you use it in the stove.  We love the cozy heat, but the boys dread all the work.  Little do they know we just like keeping them outside and out of trouble.


7.  Pushing your sister out of an airplane is one of life's true pleasures.

Back in July I decided that I was gonna turn 40 kicking and screaming as I hurled myself out of a plane.  Best decision ever.  But an even greater and most unexpected pleasure sprung up from the whole adventure.  I talked my sister Steph into going with me.  She did not like the idea whatsoever but I insisted.  I jumped last so that I could watch her take the big leap and I'll never forget it.  Her face was frozen with fear, her arms crossed over her chest, fists clenched for dear life on her parachute straps, and the distinct shape of her mouth as she looked at me from the edge of the open door and formed the words "I hate you".  Then she was gone.  For me, that was more thrilling than the actual jump! (Birthday Blog)

8.   I still cave under peer pressure at the age of 40.
This one is the most embarrassing lesson I learned this year (yes, even worse than lesson #10).  I knew it was wrong and that I should have never tried it.  I should have just said no.  I even resisted at first but everyone was doing it.  Oh, I'm sooo ashamed.

I went to see New Moon.  There I said it.  I don't even like Twilight.  In fact, I hate it.  But when a huge group of friends all invited me to go I totally caved in.  I even explained to them my strong aversion to the book, the movie, the whole lameness of it all and turned them down the instant they asked me.  But they kept insisting.  So I went.

I don't think they'll ever invite me back because I spent the whole time choking back the giggles.  I watched the whole affair with my scarf tightly over my mouth that I removed only when a shirt-less Jacob appeared on the screen which I felt required loud mocking cat-calls. 

Hopefully all the girls will forgive me.  They are a great bunch of fun.  The movie was just a little too much for a self-proclaimed tomboy like me.  You'll notice I'm the only one in the photo that doesn't sport a fancy New Moon shirt (but I did steal a friend's weird Jacob pillow which she brought to the theater).  Unfortunately I couldn't find my t-shirt that says "I'd rather be home bathing my cat" or I'd have worn it.

9.   I can flirt in French.
Seriously, I got really good at it.  Unfortunately it only worked on men over 75.  But what the heck.  This past spring I got to brush up on my crappy high school french when I spent a month sailing around a bunch of french speaking Caribbean islands (Touring the Leewards).  By the third island, I often had an entourage of really old Frenchmen following me around.  Good to know that at 40 and still got it, even if it is with just the over 70 crowd!


10.  I'm a total idiot.

This lesson will not surprise you.  I'm a little slow so I'm just now picking up on my personal failings in the smart department.  I'm sure most of you have suspected or even confirmed my idiocy for years.  So how did I come to learn what most of you already know?  A toothbrush.  Yes, that's right.  A toothbrush.

You see, I have a favorite one I've been using for a couple of years.  Actually, not the same one, don't be alarmed.  I mean the same BRAND of toothbrush.  It's got a great handle and medium bristles that are great for scrubbing teeth.  I love a good toothbrush.

About a month ago I  updated our toothbrush inventory and decided Mark should give my brand a try.  I threw his old one out and switched it for the new one and waited to see if he noticed.  Later that day he remarked, "I love that new toothbrush you got me.  The motorized bristles are awesome."

"Motorized bristles?" I said with a look of bewilderment.

After some serious jokes at my expense, I went and studied my beloved brand of toothbrush that I've been using for over three years.  Sure enough it's motorized.  No wonder the darned thing is so expensive!  So that's what the plus and minus on the handle were for!  I'm an idiot.  What can I say?


11.  Put on your shoes.

This is a hard lesson to learn but we're doing it.  We don't think about it, we just put on our shoes and get out there.  It's brought more energy and health to our lives.  Mark completed his first triathlon in which he placed second in his age group...and my sister Steph, my sister Wendy, and I all ran in our first couple of races. Wendy is a gladiator woman, she kicks my behind every time.  Most days it isn't what we want to do but we've learned to just put on your shoes.  ( Mark's Tri )

12.  Weddings are expensive. 
Throwing a reception in the backyard sounds cheap.  It isn't.

Finding a new son that fits perfectly into the family, a blessing.


12.5   I am blessed to have amazing friends and family.
Throwing a reception in the backyard sounds easy.  It isn't.  I learned that I have some pretty amazing friends (you know who you are...Petersens...and Lesley) and some hard working family members who let me boss them around in the kitchen, the yard, and everywhere else.  I still get teary and overwhelmed with feelings of deep gratitude for our amazing friends and family who helped me pull off one blissfully perfect day.

12 Lessons Learned in 2008

1. As far as navigation systems go, the shortest route is not always the best option.
This is a very important lesson…If your car’s navigation system asks you if you want to AVOID unpaved roads, quickly push the YES button! The term, “as the crow flies” is really best left for the crows to fly and rarely ever a good option for humans, with or without four-wheel drive. You know that expression “leave it to the birds”? Take that one seriously.

2. ALL new household appliances are built to last about 7 years.
Yes, and you guessed it…our house is now about 7 years old. It’s a tragedy of gigantic proportions. If you’d like to see our bank statement you will see why. This household is sporting some lovely new major appliances, of course we can’t pay for food and heat now, but we can wash our clothes and enjoy cold milk again on our cereal!

3. If you want to see bears, don’t look for them in Yellowstone.
Buffalos? Check. Biting squirrels? Check. Long wearisome traffic jams? Double check. Bears-zilch! Yogi bear and Boo Boo must be stealing picnic baskets somewhere else.

4. Diabetes sucks to the 3rd power.
So Cheyenne, Mitchell, and Chloe have all joined the club. Connor’s the last man standing…so far. We thought keeping track of one kid’s blood sugar was crazy but this year we took it to a whole new level. We affectionately call the kid’s our Three Bears cause usually, as far as blood sugars go, one’s too high, one’s too low, and one’s usually just right!

5. Mr. Clean’s magic erasers are really magic!
Seriously, they are. It took the crayon off the wall, the blue streaked door ding off my car, shined one of the kids sneakers to a new white luster, took the scuff marks off the baseboards and bedroom doors…forget Houdini, this is real magic!

6. Children really do grow up and move away.
They take your money with them but they do actually go. We just hope they write every once in a while…er…text and facebook us. We miss our Chey Chey!

7. It can be embarrassing when you’re almost 40-year old to get caught practicing drums on rock band in the middle of the afternoon.
The house is always full of teenagers but when an unsuspecting friend of the kids stopped by and caught me practicing my sweet skills with Pearl Jam in the middle of the afternoon with no one else at home (and the laundry and dishes piling up), lets just say I lost a little authority that day. Hey, whatever keeps us young right?

8. Nit picking is an art form.
Okay, quite frankly, it is rather embarrassing to admit this life lesson, but these are lessons the Skillmans learned, warts and all, not some family off the cover of The Saturday Evening Post! My whole life I thought this term meant you were apt to point out someone’s flaws but now I sadly know the real truth. This calamity of gigantic proportions started when our daughter “jane” (names have been changed to protect the innocent) came home from a friend’s house with, well, a few friends in her hair. Soon after, I quickly got schooled in the art of “nit picking”. Yes, I’m talking about the “L” word, the mother of all icky words, and ridding a child’s head of these demons is a task that can have even the most prudish parent cussing like a truck driver. I am happy to report this was a onetime issue and we have been free of these vermins for months and our house is cleaner than it’s ever been. You sort of get the heebie-jeebies from an ordeal like this and start on a cleaning frenzy that could rival any séance! May you NEVER have to nit pick…but if you do, call me, I’ve got some handy tips!

9. A pack of gum can break your nose.
Seriously, it can…and it really hurts. But not as bad as fixing the broken nose does! Imagine the conversation I had with my health insurance:
“I’m sorry ma’m, did you say a flying pack of gum?”
“uh, yes I did.”
Silence…”uh, and you’re saying it broke your nose?”
“uh, yes I did.”
“well, that’s a new one I’ve never heard before.”
“glad I could give you something to laugh about in the break room.”
“oh, we’d never do that.”
“sure, right lady. Go ahead, everyone else is laughing. But hey, if it means anything, it was a pack of “EXTRA” gum and if I were you, I’d never take for granted the extra part.”


10. Before leaving shore, always make sure you’ve got all your stuff.
While sailing the San Juans this fall, this lesson was learned the hard way and by departing this information it just might save you a lot of ridicule and embarrassment. You see, two sailors went to shore one day for some hiking and mischief, we’ll keep their names private so we don’t embarrass them, let’s just call them dummy #1 and dummy #2. So after dummies #1 and #2 frolic and explore a quaint little island they shove off and head for the boat anchored in deeper waters. Dummy #2 doesn’t realize he’s left his neon yellow jacket (that doesn’t resemble any of the mute colors on or about the island) on a log. So the intelligent ladies on the boat wave at dummy’s 1 & 2 and but they proudly misinterpret that we’re fondly waving at them and so they wave back. We wave again and but this time add pointing fingers, their response? They wave again and point back. So we patiently wait for them to get within earshot and yell, “Hey dummies, you forgot your jacket!”. Dummies #1 and #2 head back to shore much to the amusement of all the boats anchored in the bay. Who needs TV when you’ve got these guys along?

We can't even explain the lesson we learned about avoiding the need for a tow! We're just glad dummy #2 has his jacket!


11. Your friends really get offended if you ignore them by doing sudoku.
Plain and simple lesson here, the best thing to do in this situation is to tear out a page, hand them a pencil, and see if you can get them addicted too.

12. Never play speed scrabble with Mitchell.
The kid’s a speller, what more can we say? Don’t even get us started on his Q-words. As parents we’re befuddled at whether to feel embarrassed that were getting out-spelled by our 15-year old son or the pride that comes from knowing that one of our offspring can actually spell! A gene pool surprise!