Nothing Says "I Love You" Like a Hubcap

Ever love someone so much that you'd do anything for them?
Like even search the world over for the perfect hubcap for them?
Well, that's how much I love my friend Whitney.

Poor Whitney lost her hubcap.  And, well, to be perfectly honest, it made her car look like a total beater.  And that just wouldn't do. 

I first met Whitney at the baseball fields this past spring.  At the time she was a college student and local basketball phenom to boot.  Whitney is the kind of gal that makes friends everywhere she goes, which is why I like her.  She started showing up and watching almost every baseball game Connor's team played because she knew some of the kids he played with.  From her gregarious grandstand antics, I could tell right away we were gonna hit it off.

Whitney's so likeable that in my cell phone's directory she's listed as "Whitney Awesomeness". 

So when I spotted her car with a black eyesore where her hubcap should have been, I sprung into action.  How hard can it be to find a stray hubcap??  These little auto accoutrements seem to lose themselves all over the place and there's some unwritten car creed that if you find one by the road side you dangle it like a piece of jewelry from something high to attract the owners attention should they come looking for it.  And I was now looking for it.

I can't think of anything that says "I love ya" like a hubcap. (Except maybe dark chocolate.)  And so began my serious cap quest.

Shockingly, once I began looking for stray caps I never saw any.  Some sort of freakish hubcap shortage has overtaken the Northwest.  A solid week past and not a single cap in sight.

On the second week I finally spotted my first lost hubcap.  It had been propped up in the middle of a median strip.  And not just any median strip.  It happened to be the mother of all median strips if there ever was one.  This little concrete oasis harboring the hubcap was ominously dividing  SIX lanes of traffic.  Smack dab in the middle of mayhem.

This would require planning and expert stealthyness...and perhaps a trip to the ER should it go wrong.  But I was undeterred.  Undeterred because by a stroke of luck I happened to have a passenger with me in the car!  Poor Nick didn't know what hit him.  I made several U-Turns and circled the cap like it was some sort of prey and began to discuss a little "strateg-ery" with my unwilling companion.  Then all of a sudden  the traffic eased for just a brief moment--it was now or never!  In a moment of impulse, I swerved to the little island, jammed on the brakes, and shouted "Go! Go! Go!" at Nick.  Panic struck, poor Nick hopped out of the car in a state of shock and awe and ran for the safety of the median.

I circled several more times before finding the right time to come back and pick the poor guy up.  He was a little freaked out by the time he made it back to the safety of the car and once inside he gave me "the look" for pressuring him into such a crazy stunt.  But I could tell, underneath his anxiety, it was the most amusing thing he'd dared to do in a long time.

When he handed over the hubcap and I immediately knew...but I just didn't have the heart to tell him at that very moment...that upon closer inspection the darn thing was obviously way way too big to fit on Whitney's car.  I'd find a time to tell him later after he'd calmed down, that he'd risked his life for nothing. [sheepish grin.]

While he caught his breath and his elevated adrenaline levels subsided back to normal, I drove to Whitney's place, stuffed the giant hubcap in her little porch mailbox and left her a note that said, "I love you this much".  She'd know it was from me.  Who else loves people with hubcaps?

Another week went by before I found the second one.  Again I had to circle around.  By this time I should have had a bumper sticker on the back of my car that says, "I brake for hubcaps" cause that's about all I did when driving.  My eyes were surveying the roadsides for her illusive cap.   This time the second one I found was just a block away from the coffee shop where Whitney works.

Look at that beauty!  I swerved off the road and grabbed it and delivered it to her ASAP.  Her break wouldn't come for a while so we'd just have to wait for the moment of truth and see if it actually fit. 

Two hubcaps.  That's an unmistakable friend right there don't you think?

Turns out, the second time's the charm.  It fit!
(okay, okay, I do realize that they don't quite exactly match, but it stinkin fits and looks waaaay better than the hub-less eyesore of yesteryear.)

 And now, her car looks just as legit as her friendship is.   
A happy ending indeed.

Let's just hope she never loses her muffler.  I draw the friendship line there.