Who's the Fat Cat Now?

This blog entry is for Cheyenne.

Ever since she went off to college, when she comes back home to visit she always contemptuously remarks about my negligence in cat rearing.  And when I say cat, I mean the cat I did not want in the first place.  Cheyenne's big beef is that we've let the thing get FAT.

I have several problems with her accusation, and therefore I am officially posting my defense.

First, I don't think the cat is fat.

Second, I never ever feed the cat.  If I am negligent in anything that falls under the broad category of "Cat Rearing" I would be guilty of the exact opposite: not feeding it  in hopes that it will wander to the neighbors house and prefer the food they serve over there and decide to move.  Word on the street is that they give out table scrapes.  But apparently our cat has not heard these rumors yet (too busy with its aggressive napping schedule I suppose).  And unfortunately, the rest of the kids around the house DO keep feeding it which sadly means the thing is here to stay.

Third, it seems to me that the cat doesn't do a dang thing but sleep all day.  So really how can anyone around her be contributing to its censured girth?  Occasionally the cat's extreme sedentary lifestyle gets momentarily interrupted by brief albeit hilarious moments of torture by the remaining kids at home... but really...how many calories can that burn?

Still, Cheyenne seems to insist on her claims of obesity by calling "Edward Scissorhands" "Fatty".

The other day I happened to be visiting a friend.  When I took one look at their cat I decided our kitty looked like a poster cat for Jenny Craig when you compare the two.  And I decided Cheyenne must see the proof for herself:

EXHIBIT A:

This is skinny little "Edward"

[notice the menacing eyes--he's about to scratch me.]

EXHIBIT B:
And this Cheyenne

is a very very very FAT cat:

I rest my skinny case.