Maintenance Required?

The Maintenance Required light is lit up on my Camry's dashboard these days. The "maintenance" that it's referring to is pretty dang obvious so I think it's just plain rude that my possessed car thought it would be appropriate to blare this warning light right in my face while I drive. Only an idiot would not to know what the problem is.

The light came on right after this happened...

...as if I needed a light to tell me there's a problem.  And seriously, I think in this particular situation, there's more than a little "Maintenance Required" here.  Why isn't a "Seance Required" light flashing??  That's the light that should have come programmed on my dashboard.

My poor dang Camry has been the subject of many a blog post. And not positive happy blog posts either. For a new-ish car, the poor thing has been featured in way waaaaay too many crash and ding kinda posts--exxxpennnnsive kinda posts.

The car's maiden voyage into crash-dom happened on the eve of our daughter Cheyenne's wedding. When the car was brand spankin' new.  Cheyenne was running an errand the night before her nuptials and absentmindedly made a wide sweeping turn inside our garage gashing the front bumper on the wall on her way out. The car didn't even have to leave home to suffer its first blow. The gash was fixed not long after but the whole experience was hardly forgotten. All children have since been banned from driving my car on or near their wedding day. Not a real problem since we don't plan on having another family wedding for years to come.

The Wedding Wipe Out was just the start of a series of bangs, dents, scratches, and loathsome lacerations the poor car has suffered since that fateful day. And after each crash we fork out the cash and have the ill-fated thing patched up, buffed out, and painted over. Happily the car looks brand new after each repair, and the only folks who know its dirty dinged-up secret is me and my body shop guy...and, well, my loyal blog readers who are forced to read all these Crash Chronicles. But to everyone else, my secret is safe, my car still looks shiny and new...until now, when, oddly enough, there was in fact ANOTHER FAMILY WEDDING.  Hmmmmm.

Since this latest crash, word has gotten out that my car is a magnet for mayhem. I've noticed as I drive around people steer clear of me and avoid me if at all possible.  But as I see it, I'm starting to think there's a WEDDING CURSE on my car. Lucky for my children, none of them crashed the car during this recent family wedding.  It was our poor friend Amanda that was the latest victim of my Camry's famously sadistic maneuver...the "Wedding Whack".

Amanda is one of my favorite teenagers of all time (and still is, even after crashing my car!).  If I could be a teenager again, heaven forbid, then I'd be AMANDA!   She's the prettiest tom girl you'll ever meet but she'll pummel you up if you give her any crap. That goes for boys or girls. And at 5'10" tall, she's still willing to rock a pair of killer stilettos if the occasion requires fancy footwear. I love a girl who loves to wear great shoes but will beat you with them if you make her mad. That's Amanda.

But as fate would have it, I asked poor Amanda to drive my Camry on the day of my niece Danielle's wedding.  I had completely forgotten my possessed Camry's prior record for such events and tossed her the keys to my car and asked her to bring the little kids and meet us there at the wedding.

Poor girl, it wasn't her fault.
I think she was doomed the second she took the keys to my cursed Camry. That car has a mind of it's own, kinda like Herbie when it turns into an evil car hellbent for destruction.

Just five feet from the entrance to the parking lot where the wedding was taking place, a car in front of her suddenly jammed on their brakes without warning and Amanda slammed right into the car ahead of her.  I'm sure she wanted to die right then and there! Nobody ever likes crashing a car, let alone someone else's car.  And just a few feet from her destination!

Amanda pulled the car into the parking lot and I'm pretty sure she was mortified--poor thing.  Then she saw Mitchell whose eyes were wide in disbelief.  Amanda got out of the car and had that look on her face like, 'Your mom is gonna kill me!'

But I don't think Mitchell was even the least bit shocked that my Camry had gotten into yet another skirmish.  He just looked at her and said, "Don't worry about the car, what you need to worry about is my mother blogging this...that is much worse than the car."

Seriously people. You have to laugh. What is this now? The 5th crash? Sheesh. It only serves to confirm my suspicions that there is indeed a Wedding Curse on my car. Or perhaps a car curse just in general.

...then again maybe my car has a crush on my auto-body repairman.  Whatever it is I know one thing for certain...

Mitchell was right.  Amanda need not worry about my car.  This blog post full of colorful pictures of that fateful day, maybe.  Hopefully she'll forgive me. My summer's been so crazy I haven't posted on my blog in a while. I need to post something, and this is just the thing.

 
I love you Amanda! Not my car so much, but I definitely love Amanda.