Tales of a Room Mother

Years ago, back when I was a very young and naive mom I volunteered to be the room mother for my oldest daughter Cheyenne's 1st grade class. I had no idea how much work throwing holiday classroom parties would be, nor did I have a clue that I had just enlisted in something far more grueling than bootcamp. Little did I know that I would soon experience the most treacherous and painfully longest year of my entire life.  It seemed as if the other mothers wanted me to throw over-the-top parties, fastidiously decorated and color coordinated, all while providing special foods catered to each of their children's tastes and desires--vegan choices, tofu selections, and kosher choices...and then there was me, serving cupcakes to my own diabetic kid and simply pumping her up full of extra insulin to cover the extra sugar! It was a party after all! And parties are full of contraband and taboo sweets. But these mothers did not seem to have gotten the memo on this basic party minutia. They all had very complicated party agendas for their six year olds. And me? All I wanted was to be involved a little more with my daughter's classroom and I found myself in the middle of a crazed party planning extravaganza.  That was the year I learned I was not the stuff a room mother was made of.

But I still wanted to be involved in some way, so, after being granted parole from room-mothering, I spent the next couple of years in pursuit of another way I could be involved with my kids at school.  I tried coming in during reading time and helping kids read.  But I always got too silly with the kids and we ended up giggling too much and ultimately we'd get 'that look' from the teacher.  I tried helping during math time but found it too enticing to give the answers away to the kids who were having a bit of trouble.  I searched high and low for a classroom volunteer job but I never seemed to find a good fit.

Then my nieces and nephews moved closer to us.  Soon I realized if I was ever going to try the room mom thing again, this would be my golden opportunity.  Mostly because they were home schooled. And the fact that these poor kids never heard of room parties!  HERE was my golden opportunity to get involved in a school! So I appointed myself their official Room Mother and it turns out it's the best job ever!  Here's part of my self-appointed job description:

• Throw very laid-back holiday parties on Halloween, Valentines, and End of the School Year--all with gloriously sugary and fattening foods AND without consulting any other mother because there isn't one!
• Bring in the occasional teacher gift with a note that says all the other parents pitched in and got such a great teacher a little token of appreciation.
• Inform my sister-in-law when public school has been cancelled due to hazardous weather conditions and guilt her into canceling home school too.
• Remind the teacher to give days off to the kids for Teacher Inservice Days and Parent Teacher Conferences.
• Field Trip advisor.  This one I take very seriously.  Like taking the kids to Dairy Queen to work on our Blizzard eating skills.

These days the class size at the Shumway Home School has dwindled from six kids to only two.  But I still bring pizza and cupcakes and make sure the kids stop school and have a party.  It's the best school volunteer job I've ever had.

And if I do say so, I think I'm the best Room Mother they've ever had--then again, perhaps they would have preferred a room mom offering up vegan and tofu stuff!