The Tooth Fairy is a Slacker

Seriously, what is up with the Tooth Fairy these days? If you or a loved one has lost a tooth recently, perhaps you've noticed she has gotten a bit scatterbrained. The Tooth Fairy I remember from my childhood was a fairy that was on top of her game. Always prompt, always had cash, and always showed up in the right place and always  right on time. But nowadays it seems to me that she has lost her toothy touch. My poor children Chloe and Connor have seen a far cry from the one I remember. Of late, she's visited the wrong room, suffered some confusion on exactly which pillow to look under, and even skipped over them entirely, only to shamefully show up after three or four attempts on our part to leave a dang tooth. It is all very disturbing.

Take our last dental dilemma for instance.  Chloe lost a tooth and straightaway put it under her pillow.  She even popped it into a cute little envelope and wrote a note on it--albeit a passive-aggressive note from a kid who appears to be destitute for a little extra cash:

Now perhaps the confusion over our latest tooth submission may have started because Chloe has a guest sleeping in her room and so she was sleeping in Connor's extra bed. However, bed swapping or not, according to Chloe this shouldn't have caused even the slightest of problems for our fairy-ed friend since she had heard from several sources that "the Tooth Fairy has "X-Ray Vision". I've heard this little tidbit myself many times and I'm inclined to think it's reliable information. Everyone knows the Tooth Fairy has stealthy eyes and can see really well in the dark. But x-ray vision or not, the Tooth Fairy missed Chloe's tooth completely. We were both bewildered in the morning when poor Chloe discovered she had completely forgot her sealed up tooth. It was very disappointing. Chloe was sad because she'd been skipped over, and me--quite frankly, I started to get a little worried about the mental clarity of our little tooth taker.

As I pondered the dilemma, I felt a little empathy for the Tooth Fairy, it certainly can't be an easy job. So I suggested to Chloe that we should cut her a little slack--perhaps she may not be getting enough sleep these days. I even proposed to Chloe that she might brighten her evening rounds by leaving her some chocolates along with the lost tooth and see if that doesn't help put us all in her good graces and solidify us as her all-time favorite donors. I assured Chloe that she would likely never forget us if we give her a little incentive.

But this tooth tardiness was serious business and Chloe and I came up with an equally serious plan to remedy the situation: we decided to write a "strongly worded note".  The Tooth Fairy probably needed a little direction and should clearly be told that Chloe had a guest sleeping in her room and that she and her lost tooth could be found in Connor's room. I had Chloe go and find me some paper DOWNSTAIRS while I grabbed a writing utensil UPSTAIRS, and then upon Chloe's return we began our lengthy epistle to the Fairy.   As I was writing,    it suddenly occurred to me that perhaps the Tooth Fairy may have simply left her dental deposit beneath the wrong pillow. I told Chloe to go and check under her guest's pillow in her bedroom--just in case. Sure enough, as I was penning the words "cease and desist", Chloe shouts from her room that there was indeed two whole bucks under the wrong pillow! [heavy sigh.] What a relief! She had not forgotten at all! She had just had a momentary lapse of x-ray vision. And believe me, this can and will happen as you get older. It is something I have in common with our mysterious fairy.

Luckily it turns out that the Tooth Fairy may not be the biggest slacker after all. Bad vision? Yes. Occasionally forgetful? Yes. Suffers from pillow confusion? Yes. But I have a feeling she'll be more prompt next time now that she knows there's a little dark chocolate incentive waiting for her on her next pick up.