Blog Bashing & Care Package Wars

Apparently as my children grow up and move out of the house they consider the best part of their new found independence to be the freedom from the tyranny of my blog.  They realize that the farther away from home they are the less likely they are to be embarrassed by the scandalous postings that oppressed them back at home. And now, apparently, they have each experienced the same earth shattering epiphany: they have discovered their own voice and have decided to turn on me with their own blogs!  Imagine that.

Recently Cheyenne posted incriminating photos on her blog of some silly motorcycle stunts I attempted in the yard.  Then just a few days ago, Mitchell, (who calls himself "Justin" because, well, that's really his name and he's decided to use it again) wondering why he hadn't gotten his first college care package from home yet, decided to take it to his new blog! Can you believe that!  My own children mocking me on their blog! What's a parent to do when that happens?

...Well if you're me, you'd wipe a sentimental tear from your glistening eyes and blush with pride!   Indeed, it was surely
a proud moment when I discovered my children have realized how fun it can be to pester loved ones with their very own blog!

So Mitchell's recent blog post gave me a virtual smack down--albeit a hilarious one, on not promptly sending my poor "homesick" child a care package. [Nice move son. Your most impressive literary work to date.]  A move which was sure to heap such unbearable parental guilt that it was sure to quickly garner him a prompt shipment of tasty goods. Well done!  A quick read of his post and it appears as though his room mate Taylor had a sweet and loving family back at home who missed him so dearly that they were kind enough to send him a trove of treats to show they cared. And poor Mitchell, he was left with an empty dorm room mailbox.
[cue sad music--perhaps, "Everybody Hurts" by REM]

His sinister scheme seems to have worked, since I quickly shipped him off a box of his favorite goodies; microwaveable brownies, hot Cheetos, and Rice Krispie treats (sorry no diet coke, I've discovered the hard way that it doesn't take well to shipping and handling):

Then I studied the photo featured on his blog of his room mate Taylor's care package and tried earnestly to send similar items,  
but with a more unique touch.

So instead of sending him a graphing calculator (any parent can do that), I decided to send him something that would make math more fun: Strawberry Shortcake Flash Cards...

Some unique school supplies like:

this giant eraser...

and instead of sending just an ordinary Popular Science magazine, I decided to mock up a special one just for my wiz-kid blogger of a son (click to enlarge):

His Roommate's Magazine:     Mitchell's Mock Magazine:

I also noticed Taylor's parents sent him a framed family portrait and thought I'd better send a family photo for Mitchell's desk too. But, of course, I just couldn't send a regular one:

Then, probably the most thoughtful and revered gift a college student could ever receive was lovingly placed inside his package:

Taco Bell Gift Cards

So there you have it.  Secret message received, care package sent!

Now...if I can just get the phone number for Taylor's parents so I can call them and insist they WARN me before they send another care package and spare me from being censured in another scandalous blog post by my pernicious progeny.

...Because that's supposed to be my job!