Creature Comforts

Chaperoning an overnight field trip comes with serious occupational hazards.  Perhaps this is why this sort of extravaganza is operated on a volunteer basis.  And perhaps also why the school does an extensive background check on every volunteer's criminal and driving records.  Because wrangling children who you cannot threaten to beat, is a serious challenge.   And those with parole officers will not get through these sort of challenges smoothly.

That's why Mark was a shoe-in for Chloe's most recent school field trip.  His record is squeaky clean and he is far more patient than I.  In my own personal opinion, I believe it's his old age that makes him so docile around the little people.  (Once you perch old man glasses on the tip of your nose, you risk being stereotyped by your wife-on her blog, for the rest of your life.)

Which is also why, when Mark told me his plan to bring along the Aero-Bed on the kid's "Zoo Snooze" field trip,  I mocked his embarrassing plan.

"That's a dead give-away that you're getting old." I told him.  Then I pointed out how bulky and heavy smuggling in such contraband would be.  And how lame he would look sprawled out  comfortably on the floor of the Portland Zoo's classroom while the rest of the boys huddled uncomfortably on thin sleeping pads in what little space would remain of the floor.  "Tough it out old man!  It's only for ONE night!" I chided.

Well, I thought my little diatribe settled things.  But today during Connor's baseball game, a few of the "Grandstand Moms" who went on the field trip enlightened me on the subject.

Apparently he startled many of the kids and chaperons when he fumbled into the boys classroom and parted the sea of boys with his queen-sized mattress.  Boys had to scamper and flee from the gigantic mattress as Mark plugged it in and let the motor blow.  The poor boys took their thin little sleeping pads and bags and groveled for what little space remained.  I can just imagine the scene:  a refugee camp of displaced boys with Mark snuggled up all cozy and carefree on his posh queen mattress, right in the center of it all.  AWKWARD!

Naturally Mark did not take any photos of this sad little scene.  I guess he didn't want me to get wind that he went ahead with his devious scheme despite my pleadings.  Nor blog it I suppose.  But that's what's so great about the unauthorized part of this blog confessional.  And what he didn't count on was a few of my blog readers/spies who can spot a post in the making and filled me in on his every-man-for-himself plot!  Next time ladies, get some pictures!!

Word spread quickly there a queen size bed had been smuggled in.  I'm not sure if the other chaperons were shocked or impressed by the rumor, though Mark swears it's the latter.  And he thinks he's started a new trend of opulence for overnight chaperoning.  He says a new standard has been set, the bar has been raised,  the bed has been inflated! 

And if everyone follows suit next year, where will the kids sleep?  Perhaps there's room in the tiger sanctuary.

Here's a few pics Chloe took at Zoo Snooze:

Whoa!  Look at all those kids! 

There's something to be said for having 

a sketchy background check. 

Hope the kids liked this sanctuary...

They may be sleeping in there next year if 

all the chaperons bring Aero-Beds.

Uh...look closely at this next one.  
I would have asked for my money back 

after visiting this "habitat"...

Apparently Chloe was alarmed at the Poser Penguins too...

Does this classroom look big enough for 30 boys
AND a queen-sized Aero-Bed??

This subject was apparently a little too tall for such a short photographer...

So while the kids studied the habitats of all the zoo creatures, we too learn one very important lesson:  The habitat of a contented over 40 dad on an overnight field trip must include lots of creature comforts!