The Winds of War

Shock and Awe.  Total disbelief.

Once again, the wind has blown our BBQ off our porch.  That is, the BBQ that is CHAINED TO THE HOUSE.

Mother Nature, that mistress of mayhem, first declared herself the supreme archenemy of our family's beloved BBQ before we had it chained up to the house. She ambushed us with a stealth wind that came in under the cloak of night and without warning picked up our BBQ and dropped it into the middle of the lawn, completely smashing it into bits.  It was even one of those sturdy and quite heavy Webber gas grills.  But apparently that first grill was no match for the enemy.

Wind-1       Skillmans- 0

We buried our poor comrade, with its knobs sheared off and its grill top amputated,  in an unmarked grave; a vast Rubbermaid trash can that was gated up beside the garage.  We were then left to console ourselves with nothing more than the memories of the many summers it had delighted us with baby-back ribs and marinated tri-tips.

Then we readied ourselves for another inevitable assault by purchasing a heftier gas grill and this time we chained it to the porch.

Just a few weeks later, the enemy returned.  It swept through brazenly in broad daylight and ripped the new BBQ off the chain, up into the air, and send it flying to the lawn.

Wind-2        Skillmans- 0

So we bought a stronger chain.

That should do it right?  

Wrong.  I took this picture today:

 

 

 

Wind- 3       Skillmans- 0

Brutal.  This may call for some special Ops.  We must hold our ground, call in re-enforcements, or perhaps a kamikaze-style mission is in order in which we lash one of the kids to both the house AND the BBQ in a final unwavering attempt to secure victory at all costs.  But whatever we do, it is clear that this is a defining moment and we must not surrender or yield.  Our BBQ is a stake here.  And summer is coming.