What the Hella's Cabela's?

We couldn't resist stopping by Cabela's while trekking through Utah. Cabela's, as Connor explains it, "is like a dream store for men". And because the men...er...boys insisted that we've done far more "girl stuff" on our trip to the Beehive State, we not only stopped at Cabela's, we made an afternoon of it and perused the store the way only a Skillman can-like it was Disneyland on the cheap! (Thank goodness Mark was not with us or we'd of gotten in far more mischief than we did-he's the ring-leader of all retail store ruckus and medical office mischief.)
We arrive just in time to watch this guy use all-natural cleaning products to clean the artificial river that flows from the artificial waterfall that springs forth mightily off the artificial mountain.
Now how many sporting goods stores will sell you a field cannon? Not many, I'll tell you that.
...and at a bargain price too. This baby WAS $5499.99! I paid way more than that for my last field cannon.
The boys head for the shooting gallery. Unfortunately for a dozen or so unsuspecting shoppers, they discovered that a few of the targets squirt water when you hit them. I think they spent about $10 in coins so they could keep luring curious kids and a few of their parents to walk by so they could get them wet. This poor kid in the blue shirt is about to get wet.
Oh glory be! Right in the middle of the store we found the mother lode of all sporting good treasures! Camouflage! Not your ordinary camo, camo on steroids!! Oh they just begged to be tried on! .
Seriously, I think Mitchell looked more like Sasquatch or the Swamp Thing than a hunter trying to "blend" into nature-unless he was hunting at a peat moss farm. The boys decided it would be fun to hang around ever so still next to racks and wait for folks to come by to scare. Then we decided it would be more fun to play hide and seek. Here Chloe is dressed as the seeker, and she will attempt to find her brothers who will be creeping around the store in their stylish suits. The game will start right after I go find a hunting whistle to blow.
Imagine how excited your house guests would be if they saw this fabulous table top photo album that can hold over 60 photos of your treasured hunting and fishing memories sitting on your coffee table. Hours of fun wouldn't you say? It was then that we decided to go on a treasure hunt of our own.
And now, for your viewing pleasure, we proudly searched every inch of Cabela's to bring you our round-up of the best sporting goods we think money can buy. Here are some of the more interesting items we found...

Chloe found this Camo baby onesie. How many fathers are really out there who take their baby's hunting with them and need a camo onesie for the little feller? And if there was such a dad, we wondered if a baby wearing camo to go on a hunting trip with him would be a good idea, because you know fathers tend to lose their children. And what exactly would said father say if the child wandered off and got lost and he had to then give a description of his missing baby?

"...Well, Mr. Park Ranger, uh, I guess you could say my baby looks a lot like the forest, only without that pine-fresh scent"
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A light up hat, just in case it's now after dark and dad is still looking for his lost baby who he dressed in a camo onesie to go hunting.
This should certainly help your golf handicap.
Chloe found this marshmallow-shaped lollypop on a stick. Let's say you had trouble making a campfire so you couldn't make smores, this could be your backup dessert.
Connor found this chair that shades you from the sun (or rain in case you're camping in Oregon). That way you wouldn't have to feel like you were outside camping in the sun.
It even comes with a cooler in the arm rest, that way you don't have to make the long hike to the ice chest by the picnic table.
This bullet pen would be great for signing traffic tickets.
Ever thought your plain old tazer gun was boring and bland? Cabela's sells them in hot pink and neon blue! Connor and Chloe said they'd like them in their Christmas stockings next year. I quickly jotted that down for ol' St. Nick.
Seriously, I've been complaining for years that my duck call just doesn't sound authentic enough to lure in the right birds. This $199 one looks like it might have a better tone, now if I could just get a sales person over to demonstrate the difference for me...
Do you dare ever take these Camo Wellies off outside? I have enough trouble finding my regular shoes.
I saved my personal favorite for last...

Jeff Foxworthy Beef Jerky. How cool do you have to be to have your own line of beef jerky? and in "FAMILY REUNION SIZE" no less!

Oh Cabela's, I could hunt you down, stuff you, and hang you on my wall in the office! You really are like no other retail store on Earth!