Dear Santa

Dear Santa,
I'm happy to report that this year I've been really really good.  That is if we're grading on a curve and comparing the last few years that are still on my official transcript.  I've had:

• No speeding tickets.
• No arrest warrants issued with my name.
• and I have resisted the temptation to declare myself a sovereign nation and move to another country (a hard urge to resist considering my genetic make-up).

I'm also happy to report that I have really stepped up on doing good deeds this year too:

• At great personal peril, I helped a friend overcome the wretched plight of owning a car with a missing hubcap.
• Three times this year I 've braved the wildly overcrowded school parking lot just to pick my kids up, sparing them a dreaded bus ride.
• I attempted to sort socks once or twice this year--a true act of heroism if you ask me.

Here's my official

Christmas Wish List:

First and foremost, would it be at all possible for one of your little elves to get the loose screw outta my car's dash board?  It's driving me crazy.  I'm beginning to avoid driving anywhere that would require me to make a left or right turn--which honestly, put's real a damper on the number of places I can go.

Also, I would really looooove some dark chocolate covered pretzels.

They're the perfect blend of salt and sweet and instantly put me in a mellow mood, but I just can't seem to find them anywhere.  I was hoping you had an in with a chocolatier or perhaps had an elf who could whip me up a batch...or two...or three.  I'll really need them if you won't be able to help me with my loose screw, a little chocolate salty goodness will help calm my irritation on the matter.

Expandable jeans.  

No, not for me!  For my son.  Connor seems to be on a little growth spurt and manages to make "high waters" out of his jeans every two months.  I'd send the kid to school in shorts and just take a leave of absence from denim but it's winter and I'm afraid the school will think I'm abusing the poor kid by sending him out to wait for the bus in freezing winter temps.  I think the solution would be to have your elves invent some sort of expandable pant leg jeans.  Couldn't be too hard could it?  It would save me some serious cash. 

Also, would it be possible to  make that hair feather trend to go away. Or at least pass the message along to women over 30 that it is not a pretty trend to look like a molting chicken. I can understand little girls following this hair craze but it's just too much seeing everyone you meet sporting feathers in their hair like they'd slept the night on cheap down pillow.  Chloe's been wanting to get "feathered" and I can only hold her off for so long--so please just make this trend go away.  I'd rather she got tattooed.  Seriously Santa, you'd make ME and all the fishermen out there really really happy this year if you'd give them back their feather lures. 

I could also really use More space on my DVR.

I'm a total nerd and love to record all kinds of stuff on the history and discovery channels--yes I know, an unmistakable sign I'm getting old.  You'd think with one hundred hours of recording time there'd be no problems recording anything you want but I'm afraid I'm a bit of a digital hoarder.  My recordings are beginning to look a lot like my bookshelves--overstuffed with things I can't bear to part with. How does one find the courage to completely erase 'Lost Cave Temples of the Himalaya" or Michael Buble singing "Ham and Bubbly" on SNL?

An appliance that will last longer than six months.  I'm having horrible luck with appliances.  I've replaced a fridge and dishwasher this year...and my brand spankin' new dishwasher went kaput!  Please find me an appliance that will last longer than the round of therapy I need to treat my angst over this matter.  I'd even take an old harvest gold or avocado green kind like my parents used to have. 

I would also love to have some snow on Christmas.  Honestly I hate the cold but if it's gotta be so stinkin' freezing then we might as well have it snow.  Perhaps you and the weather man can work out a deal.  Yes, please, please, please, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!




On a travel note, I have two wishes.  I would love to go and watch the
Palio di Siena. It's on my bucket list.

I would also like to see the
sun set at Machu Picchu.

it's another bucket list place.  Speaking of which, so was a Space Shuttle.  I put that on my list last year and I know you worked really hard to make that one work.  But timing just wasn't right.  Instead of watching one of the last shuttle launches, I got to watch my very first grand baby launch into this world.  Not a bad trade.


Oh, and one last request:

If it's not too much trouble, could you send some more elves  (not the ones locating the loose screw in my car's dashboard, nor the ones sewing expandable pants for Connor) but a few of the others--could you send them to the house and have them  
take down my Christmas tree?  It never seems to get done on a timely basis.


Thanks again Santa. 
I'll leave the cookies in the usual spot.