Italy Scores

Our nephew-in-law Andrea decided that we all needed to get together over the holidays and play a little football.

This kind of football:

Andrea is Italian and the man needs his football--the Italian in him also makes him affectionate enough to love us all by referring to it as "soccer" as he is always kind to the uncultured Americans that we are.  He talked us all into an indoor game of soccer and then set out on a mission to find a ball at a nearby store--since none of us had one.  (oh the shame.)

Poor Andrea, at our local store what he found was something more like this:

A kid's toy, not a real athletic ball.  It was some sort of cheap ball that barely held its air for the duration of our game.  But Andrea is good humored and the shabby ball didn't phase him.  He was just happy to play.

We divided ourselves into two teams:

The Old Team

vs.

The Young Team

Uh, yeah, and don't ask me how I got assigned to the young team.

But I'll tell you what;  when you get assigned to the "young" team at my age you don't ask questions, you just roll with it.  

As you can tell by my lovely Uug footwear, I wasn't planning on playing.  I came to watch.  But once teams started forming both Wendy and I couldn't resist a little competitive challenge.  My footwear wasn't really good for running to I played goalie.

Here's what I learned:  When Americans come running toward you ready to shoot the ball at your face, don't be afraid.  Most of the time they don't know what they're doing.  The ball could go anywhere.  HOWEVER, when an Italian comes at you with the ball...trouble is coming with him! 

In the end we had one flattened soccer ball, six winded old people, one hilarious time, and a serious defeat of the younger team who were whipped by the old people.  Yes, sadly, my young team lost.  Apparently the older team has got a lot more energy and
a better goalie than we have, not to mention an Italian who loves his football!

I hope our Christmas Soccer will be a new tradition.  In the meantime I've got some serious goalie practice to do.  Perhaps I should start with proper footwear...

Thir-TEEN

Today Connor officially became a teenager and literally celebrated it with a bang.  First it was celebrated with the ultimate gift Connor could ever receive...

For Connor, there's no better way to turn thirteen than to celebrate it with your very own private stash of thirteen boxes of your very own cereal. 


Then, with the help of our friends the Sharps, he was inducted into his teens in a swirl of gunfire and gas.

First on the birthday agenda was some serious go-kart racing.

Earlier that day, Mont set up a challenging race course at their family's tarp shop and turned their massive warehouse floor into
a giant slick kart track.

The boys division was a serious event...

 

Between the Sharps and Skillmans go-karts, there was always one that was pulling into the pits for repairs.  It seems they weren't really designed for the aggressive rough-housing we put them through over the years.

 

Among the aggressive racers, Connor and Rob are all-stars.  Here they are after they crashed while trying to squeeze each other out in a tight turn.  They knocked the conveyer belt down and one of them ran over Rob's sleeve...

 Which somehow managed to rip off his shirt sleeve but leave his arm unscathed!

 Rob then decided his sleeve made a nice racing headband.

And the girls races were even more competitive...

Let's just say that you do not want to underestimate the moms.  

Deanne and I were willing to run over more sleeves 

if necessary to cross the finish line FIRST.

After a serious battle of go-carts it was time for Nerf Wars!

Here's Team Skillman:

...and Team Sharp:

oh, and thanks guys...

nice touch shooting me right after I took this photo.

But I suppose that's what happens when you're embedded

in a war zone, there's a large possibility you'll get shot 

by UNfriendly fire.

Chloe and Mark were locked and loaded...

Kayleigh uses the shop supplies as a barricade:

Brock Sharp hides in the industrial shelving:

While Nick prefers an all out assult:

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Chloe:

 

Mitchell prefers a high point from which to snipe:

(he was pretty good at picking off people 

with his homemade blow dart contraption.)

Connor chose a unique way to 

both conseal himself from the enemy

and shield himself from darts:

No surprise here,

The Skillmans win the battle!

 Round two, three, four, and five got more serious:

 More sniping was involved:

This time by Brandon on the scissor lift.

And really really long range missile launching

by Mont was involved too:

 

This method was FAST and FURIOUS.

But once again, the Skillmans prevailed.

Our little Nerf-Capture-the-Flag ended in Skillman victory!

  

Not a bad way to turn 13.

Happy Birthday Con-Man!

The victory feast was pizza and an awesome ice cream and oreo cake made by Deanne.  Once again, the Sharps know how to throw an awesome party!

Fifty

Yep, Mark just turned 50.  50! Whoa!  So in an attempt to go easy on the old guy I thought I'd jot down 50 cheerful things you may find interesting for such a melancholy milestone...

First off...Fifty can't be that old.  
These young bucks are turning fifty right along with him...

• Eddie Murphy
• George Clooney
• Michael J. Fox
• Laurence Fishburne
• Ralph Macchio
• Wayne Gretzky
• Vince Neil  (of Motley Crew)
• Fabio
• Dennis Rodman
• Steve Young

And here's ten reasons Mark sure doesn't act like a 50-year old:

• He can wakeboard 360 degrees around the ski boat.
• He can ride a wheely on his quad for miles.
• He's pulls off some crazy moves on the trampoline.
• He skateboards around the house (yes inside the house!)
• He's placed second in his age division in every triathlon he's entered.
• He was just three minutes shy of qualifying for the Boston Marathon.
• He can jump wake to wake on his wakeboard. 
• Connor's baseball coaches had him pitch to the kids during practices cause he's still got a mean fastball.
• He's always the first to propose a game that involves danger and the possibility of trauma, scars, and or bruises.
• He avoids buffets like the plague.  Old, cranky, senior-discount plagues.

But then again, 
there's ten reasons we can't deny that he really has gotten older:

• At 50, he's actually old enough to join AARP.
• All the LITE radio stations are programmed into his radio's auto-tune buttons.
• When he grows a beard it comes in gray.  I rather fancy it though.
• He wears his readers anytime, anywhere, and doesn't care who sees.
• Slippers have become his favorite footwear.

• He likes to wear his noise cancelling headphones even when there's hardly any noise to cancel out.
• He lingers longer when flipping channels and pauses on trivia game shows.  It's only a matter of time before he just tunes in for the whole show and shouts out the answers.
• If you write him a love note, better do it in large print.  Or at least scan it and send it to his ipad.
• He's rather fond of the weekend nap.
• If someone teases him about his age he turns into                 Mr. Crankypants.  We tease him anyway.

Although, turning 50 does has its advantages...

• You're actually old enough to join AARP.
• Krispie Kreme gives you 10% off their donuts.
• You can save 20% off your monthly Gold's Gym membership.
• Sea World gives you $3 off a one-day ticket.
• and so does Busch Gardens.
• You can save 25% off at National Rent-a-Car
• You now qualify for K-Mart's "Gold K Prescription" discount program.
• Every Tuesday you'll save 10% at Goodys.
• and 10% off on Tuesdays at Michaels Craft.
• and now you can dress like your always on an African safari with your 10% discount at Banana Republic.

And if that's not cool enough...here's ten more interesting things about 50:

• 50 is the score on the center of a dartboard known as a "bullseye".
• The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim retired the number 50.
• 50 is the atomic number of tin.
• An ant can lift 50 times its weight.
• The Roman Numeral for the number 50 is "L".
• The 50-move rules in chess: if there have been 50 consecutive moves of white and black chess pieces without any piece taken or any pawn moved, then a player can claim a draw.
• Back in 1986, Nevada’s Highway 50 was named the “Loneliest Highway in America” by LIFE Magazine.
• The U.S. Senate vote result in a tie 50-50 is the only situation that the U.S. Vice-President has a chance to cast his vote to break the tie.
• The critical speed in the movie “Speed” is 50 mph.  
• Londinium in Britain was founded by the Romans in the year 50 AD.

Happy Birthday Mark! 
You're still young to me.

I'll Be Home for Christmas!

Justice and Cheyenne surprised us last night by sneaking into town a day early!  What a surprise to find the them bursting into the house with my grandbaby!

Mitchell got home last Saturday.  Here he is travelling home from college surrounded by all his worldly possessions in the back seat of Rob & Kayleigh (Sharp) Ferrel's cozy little car. 

 Thanks Rob and Kayleigh for bringing our boy home!!

Looks like everyone is home for Christmas!  Yay!

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,
I'm happy to report that this year I've been really really good.  That is if we're grading on a curve and comparing the last few years that are still on my official transcript.  I've had:

• No speeding tickets.
• No arrest warrants issued with my name.
• and I have resisted the temptation to declare myself a sovereign nation and move to another country (a hard urge to resist considering my genetic make-up).

I'm also happy to report that I have really stepped up on doing good deeds this year too:

• At great personal peril, I helped a friend overcome the wretched plight of owning a car with a missing hubcap.
• Three times this year I 've braved the wildly overcrowded school parking lot just to pick my kids up, sparing them a dreaded bus ride.
• I attempted to sort socks once or twice this year--a true act of heroism if you ask me.

Here's my official

Christmas Wish List:

First and foremost, would it be at all possible for one of your little elves to get the loose screw outta my car's dash board?  It's driving me crazy.  I'm beginning to avoid driving anywhere that would require me to make a left or right turn--which honestly, put's real a damper on the number of places I can go.

Also, I would really looooove some dark chocolate covered pretzels.

They're the perfect blend of salt and sweet and instantly put me in a mellow mood, but I just can't seem to find them anywhere.  I was hoping you had an in with a chocolatier or perhaps had an elf who could whip me up a batch...or two...or three.  I'll really need them if you won't be able to help me with my loose screw, a little chocolate salty goodness will help calm my irritation on the matter.

Expandable jeans.  

No, not for me!  For my son.  Connor seems to be on a little growth spurt and manages to make "high waters" out of his jeans every two months.  I'd send the kid to school in shorts and just take a leave of absence from denim but it's winter and I'm afraid the school will think I'm abusing the poor kid by sending him out to wait for the bus in freezing winter temps.  I think the solution would be to have your elves invent some sort of expandable pant leg jeans.  Couldn't be too hard could it?  It would save me some serious cash. 

Also, would it be possible to  make that hair feather trend to go away. Or at least pass the message along to women over 30 that it is not a pretty trend to look like a molting chicken. I can understand little girls following this hair craze but it's just too much seeing everyone you meet sporting feathers in their hair like they'd slept the night on cheap down pillow.  Chloe's been wanting to get "feathered" and I can only hold her off for so long--so please just make this trend go away.  I'd rather she got tattooed.  Seriously Santa, you'd make ME and all the fishermen out there really really happy this year if you'd give them back their feather lures. 

I could also really use More space on my DVR.

I'm a total nerd and love to record all kinds of stuff on the history and discovery channels--yes I know, an unmistakable sign I'm getting old.  You'd think with one hundred hours of recording time there'd be no problems recording anything you want but I'm afraid I'm a bit of a digital hoarder.  My recordings are beginning to look a lot like my bookshelves--overstuffed with things I can't bear to part with. How does one find the courage to completely erase 'Lost Cave Temples of the Himalaya" or Michael Buble singing "Ham and Bubbly" on SNL?

An appliance that will last longer than six months.  I'm having horrible luck with appliances.  I've replaced a fridge and dishwasher this year...and my brand spankin' new dishwasher went kaput!  Please find me an appliance that will last longer than the round of therapy I need to treat my angst over this matter.  I'd even take an old harvest gold or avocado green kind like my parents used to have. 

I would also love to have some snow on Christmas.  Honestly I hate the cold but if it's gotta be so stinkin' freezing then we might as well have it snow.  Perhaps you and the weather man can work out a deal.  Yes, please, please, please, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!




On a travel note, I have two wishes.  I would love to go and watch the
Palio di Siena. It's on my bucket list.

I would also like to see the
sun set at Machu Picchu.

it's another bucket list place.  Speaking of which, so was a Space Shuttle.  I put that on my list last year and I know you worked really hard to make that one work.  But timing just wasn't right.  Instead of watching one of the last shuttle launches, I got to watch my very first grand baby launch into this world.  Not a bad trade.


Oh, and one last request:

If it's not too much trouble, could you send some more elves  (not the ones locating the loose screw in my car's dashboard, nor the ones sewing expandable pants for Connor) but a few of the others--could you send them to the house and have them  
take down my Christmas tree?  It never seems to get done on a timely basis.


Thanks again Santa. 
I'll leave the cookies in the usual spot.